Continued McSuicide Experiment Day 13




Alright fine we can do some words too.

Where did we leave off…*goes off to look at past blog posts*

Ah yes…pretty suicidal from all the processed things.

Well that was very horrid. I can tell you from this potatoes and pear with pecans mind (what I ate this morning) that it is a scroungy misery to be living in that mind. People were just utterly impossible to deal with.  Even my bestest of friends could have been roaches and the difference wouldn’t be too different in feelings. 

Also every little issue felt like a mind explosion of pain and not wanting to progress with this whole living thing. Example:…living. 

Also I would eat chips and bread then be hungry seconds later…while eating them even and just felt like I could eat them on and on and on and on. The Beatles keep creeping into this blog. I would listen to it with you but forgot headphones. 

Then I ate cheese, an avocado, and 1/4 of a pear, the rest was sacrificed to a mouth that would appreciate it because it was too sweet for this one.



I got that from the Internet because I haven’t been taking pictures. Please don’t sue me whoever took it.

Overall so Far:

So I’ve been sticking to the vegetarian thing and actually have been feeling swell. There were potatoes and onions with garlic today. I burnt the onions though because there’s this gas stove I’m new to and took lite to mean light heat as well….turns out that’s the other direction…they were very black.

I’m avoiding processed foods despite the initial idea of healthy mixed with mind altering pain food. A friend has agreed to start keto in exchange for me not consuming processed foods due to his worriment. Silly caring people. I do care more about him eating healthy than me proving more though so…sigh.

The suicidal mental plaguings are gone for today and I haven’t provoked them because they aren’t naturally occurring and I feel like being happy. Provoking of spiraling thoughts will probably happen just at the end of each phase rather than each day.

There needs to be another picture to make this interesting…

Here I’ll just do a randomly sexily adorable pic from this morning when I pressed the camera button instead of the video one:

Current conclusions: 

This has been a journeyed exploration of learnings I otherwise would never have known so it’s exciting and I want to continue. Shit eating definitely led to a shitty mind and the two are so connected that I’m more certain of wanting to study this at a neurological level down the road.

Sexual feelings might be the opposing force in this idea. Clarifying: When suicidal you’re body is the opposite of wanting to live so doing things to continue the species would be the opposite mental reaction.

Depressed/suicidal people tend to have a lower sex drive. When at my lowest I can attest to this due to…very dryness and yet today well. *coughity cough cough*

So you could track connections of a very turned on person vs a depressed/suicidal person and note differences. 

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