The McSuicide Experiment Day 14

You might notice the

spora dic

nature of these blog po sts.
Partly that’s letting my mind loose so it can be seen how it visually or word reacted that moment/day based on the food inside of my body, i.e. its source of energy. It gives people a chance to notice harshness of words or where things aren’t as clear and seem forgotten. Even where words seem bright and for the future minded vs darker and ending minded. Fine not partly. Fully.

Such as yesterday…

I planned out to say “Then I ate cheese, an avocado, and 1/4 of a pear, the rest was sacrificed to a mouth that would appreciate it because it was too sweet for this one. Is there an awareness of sugar being too sweet or did my taste buds adapt to not need sugar and desire other sources of energy to where it has now caused a dislike for the taste (dislike being associated with the mind telling what it wants through taste)? Also it did not satisfy me for the duration it would have during ketosis, as though my body isn’t utilizing the energy source (cheese and avocado) the same way” (me day 875 of life).

Instead I just said “Then I ate cheese, an avocado, and 1/4 of a pear, the rest was sacrificed to a mouth that would appreciate it because it was too sweet for this one” (me day 874 of life)  and moved on from there, leaving out the reason to even mention it. Flitting to the next thing. A problem of ADHD (video about ADHD that helps make it not seem so fallacy/give to all kids type of disorder), a struggle of mine and my identical twin’s that was satiated during healthy eating to where those symptoms were either absent or more easily controlled. Yesterday it was a bit harder to control flitting but far more conquerable than when on sugar. Fast food was very calming after a while and had the opposite affect of wanting to turn into a beanbag chair or the witch of the waste when she just got to melt…but minus the stairs of course.

Angered Howl.jpg

Howl Melting.png

Length of time food affects the mind…?

This morning a lot of rationale and calm has come back, which tends to happen the longer it’s been since eating. This could then be considered a natural state, absent of influence, but I’m sure there’s lingering of food and for me to function and write this something has to be fueling the mind that is causing all of this thought.

I’m not sure what…by now…how long does it take food to process … and the last thing I had was cheese fries with sour cream and cilantro which felt different ten minutes after eating them compared to now so does the body and mind react differently to an energy source based on where it is in the digestion process?

Also, which foods linger more?

Okay so in a Google search it seems fat takes one to two days to process while fruits and vegetables take twelve hours. Food takes time to pass from the esophagus to the stomach to the intestine which is where the nutrients are absorbed into our blood. So at what point in this process does the food affect our minds?


Ancient Powers: (I’ll put a drawing here later I just have to go to work soon). For now you can have mental stimulation through colors.

I found a book from 1887 by J.D. Steele that had a lot of old insight on food and bodily interaction:..sigh pretend the formatting is correct because Blogger isn’t working in that regard. The book is public domain and titled Hygienic Physiology: With Special Reference to the Use of Alcoholic Drinks & Narcotics.
“[Footnote: Every cell in the tissues is full of matter ready to set free at call its stored-up energy–derived from the meat, bread, and vegetables we have eaten. This energy will pass off quietly when the organs are in comparative rest, but violently when the muscles contract with force. When we send an order through a nerve to any part of the body, a series of tiny explosions run the entire length of the nerve, just as fire runs through a train of gunpowder. The muscle receives the stimulus, and, contracting, liberates its energy. The cells of nerve or muscle, whose contents have thus exploded, as it were, are useless, and must be carried off by the blood, just as ashes must be swept from the hearth, and new fuel be supplied to keep up a fire.]”

That’s a fucking awesome description. Then he has another about two pages later.
“We use the pent-up energies of meat, bread, and vegetables which are placed at our service, and transfer them to a higher theater of action. [Footnote: It is a grand thought that we can thus transform what is common and gross into the refined and spiritual; that out of waving wheat, wasting flesh, running water, and dead minerals, we can realize the glorious possibilities of human life.]”

Sometimes in the grind of mindless eating humans seem to forget that food has such a strong power over and in us but…he brings that out with his words…it’s just beautiful to me.

Grr…(there will also be a drawing of Grr here later)



Honestly though …at this point I don’t know how superior any mental functioning is. Except fast food. That was shit. But it is really fun to be hyper and happy after being so depressed…that contrast is…like being alive again.
But I’m no longer all that biased towards wanting to be back in ketosis because I truly don’t know which food works best for this mind…or if it could even adapt to find different foods than before as a more potent and excitable energy source. Also what if I find different foods based on how I want my mind to function for that moment or day?
Keto seemed to be the best and has research to back it up but…research tends to change in the nutrition world and although fats don’t make you fat in the mainstream mind anymore there still might be something to potatoes which we are told are highly nutritious…but then again there’s foods with far higher nutrition value…primal living still makes the most sense since we are attached to a physical form and since every other animal on this planet knows what to eat our ancestors probably had that scripted in their minds as well so living on what they did makes sense.
Yet have we evolved past that at all?

If not how long would it take?

Yet why do we think we can eat anything on this world as though we own it?

Except for what kills us back.

Sigh…it can get complicated and I’m sick of those relationships so for now I’ll just try and figure out what works for this body and mind rather than research. I’ll definitely return to research but self discovery feels more impactful. .besides wisdom has never worked for me. It just feels fake or I want to explore it myself. A flaw that dries my existence and the fuel is passion and fairy juices with a sprig of thyme.
The largest annoyance to vegetarian carb eating versus letting the body use fats as its energy source is getting hungry much quicker. I’m not fully sane or happy when hungry, probably due to being such a small person that once my body uses up the energy source just put in it there isn’t much left to utilize so it begs me to feed it and think of nothing else.
For instance, just now I wanted to quickly publish this to go find food. Completely forgetting to email Tech about using their fMRI machine in the fall to track mental data based on five different diets (one for each month).
Interesting side note. When attuned to this body I was on a raod trip and had kale next to me with nuts and jerky. Something grew hungry and I reached for kale instinctually and it satisfied me but…not my body. It satisfied my mind with the same feeling as eating after a workout…I had been thinking a lot and apparently needed kale mental energy. An hour later the same mental hunger aches came back and I ate more kale. Yet again it went away.

New theory:

Social Anxiety

If the theory currently is equal and opposite reactions of the mind being suicidal based on not continuing the human species (as theorized by depressed and suicidal people also having low sex drives) and people being turned on and wanting to continue the species as the opposite of depression then there might be another player that follows that line of thought. What if social anxiety is fueled from the same triggers to where the body gets you to not socialize/be around people that could fuel reproduction and the continuation of our species?

Steele, J. D. (1884). CHAPTER VI: DIGESTION AND FOOD. In , Hygienic Physiology: With Special Reference to the Use of Alcoholic Drinks & Narcotics (pp. 70-91). A.S. Barnes & Company.


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