McSuicide Experiment Day 25

Also I’ve been avoiding the inner rants coming out into words here but…I’ve been getting more frustrated at trying to convince people that maybe the food they are eating is wrong while they glare and prepare mind axes. No worries I have acid splash for days….of course then the acid would hurt me too…

I get it though…I grew up with things in my mouth tasting good and just living…functioning in life and having happy bursts. If life got hard I ate another sour patch kid. So if someone came up to me and said “Pop-Tarts are what are making you suicidal/depressed” I would laugh and eat a Pop-Tart in front of them near a sharp cliff with a mocking laugh tingling all over their skin. Then I’d go longboard off in a dress with heels…I really love doing that on campus with red hair catching fire from the sun.

It took knowing what the difference feels like. Michael one day told me that he was on this ketogenic diet where he ate high fat foods and restricted carbs to where he didn’t eat bread or rice or potatoes. What a mad man. Butter over potatoes. Then he said he ate once a day. Now he’s just a bullox machine and my sanity stopped tuning in. Only crazy could connect to crazy so sanity sat in the corner and played pong while the chaotic side of me took over tuning in. I said that small meals throughout the day are supposed to be best because the body then utilizes that energy and doesn’t overeat. He said that recent studies are actually showing eating once a day and letting the body use that energy is better for us. Then he said fruit has too much sugar and I stopped caring.

He kept explaining and making rational sense of things while I was just quoting people and he was quoting science. I gave up and looked into it. Fuck. He was right. So I did the keto diet and learned what it felt like to be mentally stable and happy on bacon and grass fed butter. I even developed a liking for asparagus and broccoli. I had to pretend they were tiny trees to get my mouth to open. Then from this experiment I felt the mind numbing numbness of fast food mind and after cheating on chard there were those bright lickable notes again.

It takes feeling that contrast. Otherwise it’s like saying living as a fairy would be better. Since I’m stuck as a human I’m fine being human because it cannot change/I have nothing else to base it on.

I really want to be a fairy though.

Mind Nomming

When I say I’m a hippy I meant I want to get back to nature because it’s the only way to not be a commodity trained to catch the shiniest package. We are in a world where it is hard to say no to even ourselves. You can use cash to buy any desire you haven’t even thought of and have the ability to create the ones you think of. This is magical but also has taken away so much self control.

I’m not even going to quote studies I’m going to quote your childhood.

Kid’s toys in meals

Supersize

Sour Patch Kids

Energy Drinks

Fruit Loops

Spongebob Sprinkled Pop-Tarts

They’re Grrrrreat

Hostess


McDonald’s uses the two most eye provoking colors. Addicting you to its very name. Colors are manipulated in fruits to stimulate our instincts into buying them. It works.

Don’t you feel eye raped?

It’s not even that hard. We’ve been taught being healthy is too hard so we become slaves to instant gratification and 30 second meals. It’s like a system or something 😉

But really it flows from eating terribly, losing energy and the desire to do anything, having access to super fast food and repeating the cycle.


When you can get back to control…back to believing the human body can take care of itself and that you should listen to it things begin to change. You get to have control over what you eat and when. When was the last time you truly slowed down and sunk your mouth into every bite and flavor of what was in it?

With most foods available you shouldn’t because it tastes wrong and odd…I had a bun just yesterday and had to take it off because it was taking the flavor away from the mushrooms and meat beneath. Without going months eating in burger bowls (all the things inside the bun but on a salad) I would just think that is how food is meant to taste. Once you get fats inside you things just…slow down and you swirl the intensity of savory grease in your mouth. The chew of bacon forsakes all other thought and consumes you. So do almonds and cheeses and everything right in the world.


And cheeses. Oh fuck fast food does not know cheese. Cheese has so many flavors and textures and moments to reallly savor. You don’t get that from a five cent two minute skank building. You get it from going to a store surrounding itself in possibility and vegetables and fruits with exotic colors that can be heated or colded into moments for your mouth and you find the cheese section. You stop. You stare. You pick up that cheese and read the words about where it is from and what it can do and if the person who made it cared. If you can find queso fresco you fry it with coconut oil (after it is smoking and cut into cubes) and you eat that. Just that with nothing else and learn heaven. We can all just pretend there is a heaven for that. Then you get cheddar and use it in a casserole or just by itself or in a souffle or mashed cauliflower and you never regret any moment with it. You can even grind some into fresh strings over avocado split in half with it’s seed taken aside and bake it until melted then just…eat …well actually make bacon and add that to it.


Just…


Look at this picture and tell me your mouth doesn’t salivate.

From my favorite low-carb blogger.

Or just…compare these to childhood above collage…these are from other amazing low carb blogger. It just looks soo mmmmm. I’ve made almost all of it and it isn’t hard. Actually quite satisfying. But I am a woman so it’s in me to be in the kitchen 😉 .

Last Little Rant:

I keep labeling things as keto friendly. Thinking oh you didn’t even notice that was keto…barely taking count of the food or what it is without a label.
We’re boxing up food.
Health labels of keto friendly, Atkins friendly, south beach diet or whatever the others are because I never could keep up, but food should just be food. Tofu should be tofu and not thought of as the low carb option for fries or a vegetarian substitute for meat. It’s tofu. Appreciate it for its ability to be hard or soft and the way it absorbs so much flavor while maintaining a chewy texture and never makes you feel bloated after. Then we think of low carb cupcakes as gross and not made with flour. Would you ever eat flour by itself? Or have you ever craved going into a field of wheat and just nomming to town? Well low carb flours are generally almond or coconut or another form of nut. Something you would eat alone and eye close with mouthgasm moments for. Then it uses butter and creams and other delicious not scary things. The bacon above is deliciously savory sweet from extracts and a different naturally occurring sweetener.

Also that pickle brined chicken from The Primitive Pallet I can think of right now and still want to marry her. It uses pork rinds for coating and just…mmmmm…excuse me why I swallow.

Apparently standard sugar is bad for us. Just accept it and move on. The human body wasn’t meant to have so much access and consumption of sugar. Think of how fast fruit goes in and out of season and how hard it is to grow. Then think of how fast spinach grows or other veggies. Super freaking fast and in abundance. It’s called the primative/caveman diet for a reason. It makes sense.

I would give you tons of studies here but at some point you have to go and research things yourself. Stop listening to strangers on the Internet.

*ends rant*

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